My awakening to inner-self came from the roots of my Catholic upbringing.
After age 20 or so I just let the religion go it's way and never looked back.
Then, after 20 years of being away from religion entirely, I read a few books
on Zen. Oddly enough, Zen does not conflict with any other religion, but I didn't
realize that until I'd been working with it for a few years.
One day it dawned upon me, that no matter how much I rejected Catholicism, I could not rid myself of those values. They could be hidden from others, but in my own self I knew that I could not rid myself of the years of Institutionalism I was given as a child. I was forced to accept that it was a part of me, no matter how I tried to escape it. And as it turns out, it wasn't the least bit painful or disillusioning.
Zen is/was enlightening to me in many ways. It showed me the same side of the coin in a different light. There is no other side to it. We are all one and that's the bottom line of it all. We can fight that concept with every bone and cell, but the elements of our bones and cells have been around longer than thoughts, participating in a much greater reality.
Somehow out of nothing everything came, and it continues. Curious to ponder this world getting by without us. But rest assured, many have died and few claim to be back from whatever is beyond it. And those strange claims by the few who have past memories may very well be true. We should not judge others until we've walked in their shoes.
This thing we call reality is a monster beyond our control. Don't even try to tame it. The best we can hope for is to live through it somewhat content in our hearts that we did a little something that was honorable. Are there individuals who feel totally without this? What a horrible thing to imagine.
Through Your Eyes
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